At Urbana, God turned my life upside down. The very first two or three sessions centered around the theme that before we can be adequate witnesses for God, we need to clean the garbage out of our lives. At first I thought that I didn't have any garbage, but then they talked about pride and self-sufficiency and about surrendering *everything* to God--even trivial matters. When I returned home, I began a personal and prayer journal that I've continued to this day. I can't believe the growth that I can see through my writings. I repented of all the "little" things that I was keeping from God--pride, self-righteousness, self-sufficiency, and the like. I was broken before God, and He honored my brokenness.

I bought lots of books at Urbana and read them the following spring. A couple that really challenged me were _Shadow of the Almighty_ and _7 Dangerous Questions (I don't remember the rest of the title)_ by Paul Borthwick. Through reading the former book, I realized just what an infant Christian I was, contrary to all that I believed about myself. The latter book helped me realize how important cross-cultural ministry is to God and how the Bible leaves us no choice in the matter. Later that year, I also worked through _Experiencing God_, which continued to challenge my complete reliance on Him for my life's direction. After much prayer, I realized that God was not calling me to be a Music major and he seemed to be leading me to study French. I have 3 semesters until I graduate from Arizona State University with bachelor's in French.

I took Perspectives a year ago, and I went to France a year ago with GEM's Eurocorps program. God solidified my interest in missions, and I've been doing my best to mobilize people around me while I'm still in school. I am just finishing up being on a task force for Perspectives; I was a grader and the prayer coordinator. After ASU, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm going to Urbana again this year to explore my options. I don't know if I'll be a long term worker, a mobilizer, or what. God doesn't like to reveal too much to me at a time because I needlessly start to worry about it. I do know that missions is an integral part of my life, nay, *the* driving force of my life. Without Urbana 96, maybe I'd still be a music major heading towards lifetime frustration. I believe with all my heart that, since I've submitted myself to God, He has faithfully directed me to where I am today.

Thanks for taking time to read this. I hope it encourages you.

Que Dieu vous bénisse! (God bless you!)
06/09/00