Going Home and Coming Home
What does home mean in our mobile world?by Anita Philip
How can we understand “home” in this mobile age? Amidst constant transition, where can our hearts belong?
This past summer presented a unique opportunity for our family to go “home” to India for three months. Anticipation mounted as the days grew closer to our
departure from Madison, Wisconsin, knowing that we would soon be together with
extended family and friends we had not seen for years. Our children eagerly
packed their bags, and were clearly excited about the prospect of seeing their
grandparents.
Four flights later and half way around the globe, we found ourselves in Bangalore struggling to take in the changes around us. Thomas Friedman recently acclaimed this burgeoning metropolis as a global economic epicenter . For the first few moments, we felt like strangers, not recognizing roads, buildings or the shifting landscape. But as we approached home, the surroundings became increasingly familiar and comforting.
The reunion of families is usually a sweet moment, and ours was no exception: many hugs, a few tears, much laughter and joy. The children snuck into their grandparents’ bed that night. It was wonderful to awaken the next morning to the aroma of tea, the jingle of our house helper’s anklets - sights and sounds that evoked memories of earlier years. The food was heavenly: vegetables from the garden, spicy fish curry, and fresh plucked mangoes at every meal.
Over the next few days, family and friends dropped in to visit and welcome us. Soon we had invitations to weddings, house-warming parties, and birthday parties. We were slipping ever so quickly back into the social networks and relationships that we were once a part of.
I watched with pleasure as our children, both of whom were born and raised largely in the United States, switched cultures with ease, gravitating towards the warmth and affection lavished on them by their extended family. They even adjusted their accents and colloquialisms, to better communicate with their new friends.
The summer went quickly as most vacations do, and soon it was time to return “home” to Wisconsin. The last week was difficult, with tears, goodbyes and the pain of physically separating from loved ones. As we journeyed back, I remember mentally shifting gears, and preparing for re-entry into the busyness of life here in the US.
Friends graciously picked us up from the airport, stocked our fridge with sufficient supplies ahead of time, and otherwise eased our transition back to the rhythm and routine of life here. The children were delighted to come back to their “blue home” - a description our three year old daughter used with family and friends in India. No sooner did we drop our bags, than she ran straight to her room, to check out her precious dolls, toys and stuffed animals. My seven year-old son was quite happy, rediscovering his Legos and matchbox cars. It was obvious from his comments, however, that he missed his grandparents, cousins and new friends back in India.
It took but a few days to ease back into work, commitments and responsibilities that are part of this season of our life. A few friends and neighbors enquired politely about our trip, but then moved on to topics of everyday life in the Midwest. Most were unaware of the internal tidal currents as we transitioned between two very different cultures.
As I unpacked our suitcases, I also went through a mental unpacking of sorts. The transition between “homes” was far easier physically than emotionally.
I contrasted my life to that of my ninety-two year-old grandmother, who has lived her entire life in one small town and for whom “home” is certainly tied to one house, location and culture. I on the other hand have lived, studied and worked in eight different geographical contexts. “Home” no longer conjures up images of a single location in my mind.
So what then is “home” for those of us who in this increasing mobile age, seem to be in constant transition? There are certainly blurred images of the various houses lived in, but “home”, in greater measure, evokes for me, snapshots of relationships and people.
Looking back, each geographic move we made was preceded by a strong sense of God’s leading. This drove our decisions to invest locally where planted, and to trust him for relationships to sustain us. And he proved faithful every time. More often than not, the local body of believers became the starting point of our relationships and community. Obviously, with each location, some relationships were seasonal, but there have always been a few that have carried over, and sustained over time and distance.
Now, we can visit a myriad of “homes” around the globe we consider our own. This is also reflected in the seemingly endless streams of visitors, who drop in from across the country, and abroad to spend time with us. Ask our neighbors, they’ll tell you we have a revolving door! Hospitality and an “open home” have emerged as core values of our married life. We also seem to take long trips more frequently than our neighbors to be with those significant others who form our core community.
I also recognize the importance of making our “blue home” a place of rest, comfort and belonging, particularly for the children. For as they grow these images and impressions build into their psyche a sense of belonging and identity. This recognition makes me wince, for I realize I have procrastinated on putting up pictures on many of our walls.
The prophet Jeremiah exhorts us to plant vineyards, build homes and pray for the peace and prosperity of the city to which God calls us. For me, that starts with reading the local newspaper, getting better acquainted with our neighbors, and involved in issues that affect our local community. Again, I’m convicted that I can do more than I have done these past three years.
And what of the emotional costs of being so scattered relationally? I am comforted by the honesty of the Apostle Paul as he describes in many of his letters his longing to be with those he loved, and yet bold in his conviction that there is certainly a day of unending togetherness. There is a “now and not yet” element of living in the present and recognizing the reality of our journey towards our heavenly, final home. I look forward to the day when the street I live on has every person I love on it!
For today, I’m convinced that as I focus on God, the ultimate “dwelling place” of the heart, as Psalm 84 puts it, I can go forward from “strength to strength” making this present abode a refreshing “place of springs”. So with new resolve, I have decided that the next few days will be spent putting up pictures, some brought home from India, on these walls, to connect the “comings” and “goings” of our family and those who grace our home.
Unless otherwise noted, all materials on the urbana.org web site are Copyright InterVarsity Christian Fellowship / USA. All rights reserved.
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