Matched for Mission
Marrying into your Callingby Sophia Pascal
“I didn’t mean to open this can of worms right now, but if you’re up for having a kind of awkward conversation, let me know.”
This was the prelude to my husband’s marriage proposal, one of the most unexpected events in my life. We had been in each other’s presence for a total of seven days, the first of which was in June and the last six in November. Between June and November our only contact had been a series of emails discussing ministry philosophies and practices, as I had in September committed to joining Servant Partners and his team in the Middle East. It was this common calling to incarnational church planting in the urban slums of the Muslim world that brought us together.
For many years, we each pursued God’s calling individually and in different ways, with no knowledge of each other—he in the Middle East, I in the U.S. These years were often difficult and lonely, and the temptation to compromise our ministry callings in order to marry was very strong. We both endured the pain of breaking off relationships due to a lack of common calling, and choosing obedience to God’s will forced us to accept the possibility of lifelong celibacy. Ultimately, we both believed that God’s calling was our highest priority, whether that included marriage or not.
Thus, I was completely unprepared for what happened the evening of the “awkward conversation.” After five minutes of calming breath exercises in a café bathroom, I sat across from him only to hear him say a number of nice things about me and a reiteration of our common ministry calling followed by the words, “So I think we should get married.” I was shocked. I came in expecting to be rejected, and instead he was proposing marriage!
Most people likely consider it rash to agree to marry someone who you barely know, and we also had moments where we wondered if we were just completely crazy. Yes, we were both certain that we had individually received the same calling from God, and that during our brief time together we enjoyed each other’s company, and that we had identical ideas about love being a commitment and choice rather than feelings and passion. To me the decision to say “Yes” seemed rather reasonable. But were these things really enough of a foundation to start planning a wedding?
Everyone we talked to seem to think so. Parents, friends and our spiritual authorities all were extremely supportive. Indeed, a few people who had known us individually for a number of years even said, “We saw this coming a long time ago!” God was clearly confirming His joy in our decision to marry.
Four months later, we were married. Five months to the day after that, we were on a plane to the Middle East where we remain to this day, living in a slum and sharing Jesus with our Muslim neighbors, committed to each other and committed to God’s calling.
If I end our story there, it sounds like a happily ever after tale. But two and a half years into marriage and ministry, our lives have continued to be filled with all the normal joys and sorrows, peace and difficulties experienced by everyone who submits themselves to God’s will. Marriage is not always easy. Ministry is not always easy. There are many similar lessons to be learned from each about perseverance, humility, and sacrifice – daily opportunities to ask the Holy Spirit to transform us and make us more like Jesus.
I often have moments where I am happily surprised at how everything turned out, when the fact that I am married and living out God’s ministry calling feels like such a shock. It seems unimaginable to me, like a gift too good to be real – not the “can of worms” I expected. Indeed, our God is a worker of miracles and faithful to give us everything we need to obediently follow and glorify Him!
Sophia Pascal and her husband Matthew work with Servant Partners in the Middle East.
Unless otherwise noted, all materials on the urbana.org web site are Copyright InterVarsity Christian Fellowship / USA. All rights reserved.
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