Pride by Any Other Name
Cowardice versus Humilityby Paul Grant
This wasn’t the right way to start a revolution. Peter did not understand Jesus’ allowing himself to be executed. Jesus was the great hero in disguise, and one day, Jesus was supposed to tear off his disguise, reveal himself as the superhero, and destroy Rome. Peter even tried to help trigger the drama: he attacked one of Jesus’ arresters, chopping the poor kid’s ear off.
But Jesus didn’t take the bait. He let himself get killed. Ultimately, God brought Jesus back to life in the ultimate triangulation. God proved everybody wrong, the devil included. As it turns out, God sees the big picture, and he knows who people really are. God knows our limits better than we even do.
But what about Peter? Peter was an even worse leader for the revolution. Jesus had named him “the rock”, marking a departure from Peter’s origins (Simon), and designating him the leader of the church. But Peter was a lousy choice. He was a backwoods fishmonger with a hot temper and little in the way of social skills. He managed that rare combination of pathetic qualities: simultaneously obnoxious and cowardly. What Jesus saw in him was certainly buried pretty deep.
But with time, Peter grew into his calling, taming his fury into a well-honed oratorical bravado. His cowardice drifted away more gradually – Paul called him out several years after Jesus’ resurrection, for succumbing to peer-pressure ethnocentrism – but Peter’s worst edges grew into great assets for leadership.
Jesus had seen a simple fool named Simon, and knew his true nature. He renamed him “Rock” and entrusted him with his Church. Jesus later appointed the terrorist-in-chief Saul to take the gospel far beyond its boundaries at the time. And Jesus continues calling remarkably “wrong” people into positions of magnificent influence and import.
What about you? What are you doing with yourself and your life, relative to what you know God has in mind for you? Some of us are chicken. We know God has a specific idea for us, but we expend ridiculous energies avoiding the leadership roles we know he wants us to assume. God gives us the capacity to lead, and gives us passion for the cause, but we bide our time instead, hoping the opportunity will pass without us truly having to step up.
Worse yet, we wrap our reluctance in spiritual clothes. What should be called cowardice we call “humility”, as we cover our stink with perfume. What a load of hogwash: humility is a different creature altogether.
Cowardice is not the opposite of pride; humility is. Pride is disregarding God’s calling for a grander vision, and cowardice is disregarding God’s calling for a smaller vision. Cowardice is thus arrogance by another name: it is deeming one’s own opinion as more important than even God’s. If God has called you to lead, and you refuse, you’re ultimately telling God that he doesn’t understand the situation.
“God, you think I should take a leadership role, but you’re mistaken. I’m the wrong person for the job,” we say. We have thus named ourselves greater visionaries than God himself.
Is there a specific action, or leadership role, or task, God has put on your heart? Does it keep coming up in your mind at night, as you’re trying to go to sleep? Does it put a pit in your stomach to even think about what God is asking of you?
Have courage. Or rather, have some humility. You can pray, “ok, God, I’ll do what you’re asking of me. I still think I’m the wrong person for the job, but I’m willing to let you convince me otherwise as I try to obey. Forgive my cowardice, and help me to understand more specifically what you’re trying to tell me.”
And then take one little step, and then another. It’s not as hard as it looked, is it?
Unless otherwise noted, all materials on the urbana.org web site are Copyright InterVarsity Christian Fellowship / USA. All rights reserved.
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