Purity on the Mission Field

by Ken Williams

Purity on the mission field The growing moral breakdown among evangelical Christians is alarming. Unfortunately, sexual immorality among missionaries is increasing at a frightening rate also. The evangelical church in western societies has been so inundated with sexual stimuli that it is now open to direct attack by Satan in this area. No longer limited to subtle temptations, he now blatantly tempts us to sexual immorality in ways that would have been ineffective only a few years ago.

Each of us is responsible, not only to engage personally in spiritual warfare to resist Satan's sexual temptations, but also to help others to effectively do battle with the world, the flesh and the devil in the sexual area.

LET'S BE AWARE OF THE DANGER

The first step in resisting temptation is to be aware of Satan's strategies. Paul spoke of being alert, "in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes" (2 Cor. 2:1). Let's be aware of his schemes for trying to destroy God's work during these days.

In today's situation, we must face the fact that we are in great danger in being tempted to sexual immorality on the mission field. Have you considered that you will be personally vulnerable to sexual temptation on the field? The person most susceptible to sexual temptation is the one who thinks that it could never happen to him or her. The possibility is unthinkable. In counseling many missionaries who have committed adultery or fornication, I found that not one had considered himself or herself vulnerable to immorality.

You probably know I Cor. 10: 13, and claim its precious promises. But do you also know and apply the preceding verse? "So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!" The Holy Spirit gave us this stern warning immediately before the promises, and both must be taken together. We cannot safely rest in God's promise of help in temptation if we naively think we can stand without taking great care.

Perhaps surprisingly, temptations to sexual immorality on the field are often greater than at home, especially during the first term. Being under intense, long-term stress can make us more vulnerable to sexual temptation. Other factors include loneliness, unmet emotional needs, stripping away of support systems and home country standards, culturally different sexual cues, and intensified attacks by Satan to destroy God's work among peoples long held captive by him.

Let's face it: as a new missionary, chances are very high that you will be tempted to sexual immorality during your time on the field. You may be tempted to indulge in pornography. Or you may find yourself tempted to "play games" with persons to whom you are attracted, without actual sexual involvement. Incredibly, many missionaries struggle with severe temptation to commit adultery, fornication, homosexual acts and even incest or child molesting. Tragically, a significant percentage of these fall. What about you? Will you be one of those who go to the field to serve God, but end up as a lamb in Satan's slaughterhouse? Or will you go in the power of the Holy Spirit, aware of the dangers and prepared to victoriously do battle with the forces of evil?

LET'S UNDERSTAND THE DYNAMICS OF SEXUAL TEMPTATION

Many Christians have little knowledge of the powerful dynamics of sexual temptation. As you understand these dynamics, you are able to recognize forces and processes within you and take action to resist them. Here are a few principles to keep in mind.

1. We don't "fall" into sin, we slide into it.
When someone commits sexual sin we tend to think of them as suddenly falling off the cliff into an abyss. This is rarely if ever the case. An act of sexual sin is the ultimate and logical result of long-term habit patterns of giving in to temptations to less obvious sins. These include involvement in pornography, looking lustfully at others, thinking sinful thoughts and engaging in fantasies of sexual and/or emotional involvement with others. According to our Lord, sexual sin originates in the heart (Mt. 15:19). Cf. Mt. 5:8,28; 12:35,36; Prov. 4:23, 6:18, 23:26-28.

2. The beginnings of the "slide" into sexual sin often seem so harmless that we are hardly aware of them.
Television provides the most powerful beginning of the slide for the average Christian. Each time we watch a TV program which appeals to the flesh sexually, even though the stimulus may be subtle, a powerful, unconscious process evolves. The process is so slow and subtle that we are rarely if ever aware of what is happening. But over a period of years the abhorrence and shock of sexual sin is gradually lost. In fact, the process has been going on in our society long enough that many Christians have never developed the abhorrence. And so, the seeds of personal sexual sin have been sown deep in each of our hearts, without our even realizing it.

3. Even as believers, our capacity for self-deceit is limitless.
Being a missionary does not diminish this capacity! While we rejoice in God's power in us over sin, we must constantly be aware of the power of our hearts to deceive us. As a counselor, I know of no area in which the power of self-deceit is stronger than in the sexual area. Each of us knows of believers who tried to continue serving God while living in secret sexual sin, and who "repented" only after getting caught. See Jer. 17:9, 10, 1 Cor. 3:18; Gal. 6:7,8; Jas. 1:22; 1 Jn. 1:8. In our sex-saturated society, if we fail to accept this difficult truth about ourselves, we stand in great danger of sexual sin.

4. Intimate personal relationships are vital in the Christian life.
God created us with deep needs for intimacy, and to deny these needs may make us even more vulnerable to sexual temptation. For married persons, intimacy with one's spouse must be primary, of course. But married and single persons alike need intimate relationships. Intimacy and sexuality are not the same. A healthy, biblical view of loving intimacy allows us to relate in mutually upbuilding ways without sexual involvement. Jesus provided a model in his intimate relationships with men and women. Godly intimate relationships are often very difficult to develop and maintain on the mission field, but we must seek to build them.

5. However, intimate relationships often do provide serious temptation to sin, and so must be handled with great care and awareness of their dangers.
Most missionaries (and pastors) slide into sexual sin through relationships which begin very harmlessly, and even out of righteous motives. The process usually develops in these stages: a) A man and woman are brought together naturally through work, common interests, or ministry. b) They spend a great deal of time together. c) One or both begin to have previously unmet emotional and/or spiritual needs met in the relationship. d) At some point they begin to touch each other, sometimes beginning with right motives, but eventually the touching, combined with the meeting of deep needs, begins to generate romantic and/or sexual feelings. e) Powerful self-deception enables them to justify and rationalize what is happening in the relationship.

6. Once we have begun the slide, sexual temptation will probably be the strongest force we will ever experience.
Its power can grow to the point that we become willing to give up everything to gratify it: relationship with Christ, spouse and children, home, ministry, reputation, friends . . . everything. And no believer on earth is so spiritual that he or she is immune to this temptation.

LET'S BUILD A STRATEGY FOR ONGOING SEXUAL PURITY

This area is very complex, but hopefully the following principles will help you develop your own strategy for avoiding sexual sin. These points are sketchy. You are encouraged to amplify them.

1. Be aware of the above facts, and be in the process of accepting and integrating them on a heart level. Acknowledge to yourself, God and appropriate others your capacity to deceive yourself and your vulnerability to sexual sin.

2. If married, make your relationship with your spouse a top priority. Don't let pressures on the field rob you of the rich, satisfying relationship God wants for you (see Prov. 5:18-20). This includes good sex, but just as important, meeting one another's emotional needs also.

3. Make a commitment to Jesus Christ and to your spouse if married, to live a holy life as free as you can be from sexual sin, even those sins which seem to be harmless. Write your commitment down and keep it in a place where you will see it often. This is a one-time commitment which must be continually reaffirmed, sometimes on a moment-by-moment basis. The following steps are based on this commitment and are means of fulfilling it.

4. Make a life-long project of studying, memorizing, meditating on and applying Scriptures which speak to this area of life. See Psalm 119:9,11. A few key passages in this area are Prov. 5, 6-20-35; Eph. 5-3-12; 1 Cor. 6-12-20; Rom.6; I Thess. 43-8. God's Word must be a major part of your strategy.

5. Make a checklist of sinful practices in which you are or have been involved. These may include thoughts, fantasies, feelings and actions which stimulate or gratify you sexually, but which you know are sinful.

6. Make another checklist of seemingly harmless practices in which you have been or are currently engaged, but which you know do not contribute to a holy life. These might include thoughts, fantasies and feelings which are less explicit than those under point 4. They may also include TV programs and magazines which are not overtly pornographic, but which, when you are honest with yourself, appeal to the flesh. These activities may be "lawful" according to I Cor. 6:12, but in time you can be "enslaved" to them, without even realizing it.

7. Rigorously practice Col. 3-5: "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires . . ." (cf. Eph. 4:22). This means developing freedom from all practices you listed under points 4 and 5. This process will take time, and being human you will probably fail at times. But don't give up in discouragement! Satan will try to convince you that it's hopeless, that you will never make significant progress. Timing is critical. The best time to reaffirm the process of putting these to death is the very first awareness of being tempted. In this battle, even a few seconds of wavering or inaction can make the difference between victory and defeat (Eccles. 8: 11).

8. Continually work on being renewed in your mind, as described in Col. 3:10 and Eph.4:23-24. Again, this involves a commitment which must be reaffirmed often, and especially when first aware of temptation. Scripture explains the above two processes in different ways, so that we are able to fully understand how to do them. Begin a personal study of these two processes in the Word, possibly beginning with passages such as Rom. 8:5 -8,12:1-3, Phil. 4:4-8, Col. 3:1-4, 1 Peter 1: 13 -17.

9. Before going to the field, or immediately upon arrival, be sure to discover sexual cues and morals in that culture. As a man or woman, you need to know how to avoid signaling a "come on" and how to show that you are not interested in having a sexual encounter. Learn what behaviors indicate sexual looseness, how to recognize sexual advances, and how to deal with them effectively.

10. Develop a relationship of mutual accountability. Being tempted may not be sinful in itself, but sexual temptation is often so strong that we cannot hope to effectively handle it alone. In fact, it was never God's intention that we try to survive alone in this spiritual battle. Hebrews 3:12,13 indicate that we need close personal interaction with others in order not to be "hardened by sin's deceitfulness." It is frightening to "confess your sins to each other and pray for each other" (James 5:16).

Yet, I am convinced that every one of us needs a relationship in which we have a solemn commitment to confess and discuss every sexual sin, no matter how "slight," as well as temptations. Talk about temptations to lust after or fantasize about specific persons in your life, as soon as you are tempted if possible. Nothing will cause an illicit fantasy to crash to the floor in pieces as much as sharing it with a friend.

CONCLUSION

Sexual immorality is not the unforgivable sin. Forgiveness and healing are available to those who repent. But as a missionary, to commit sexual immorality surely would be the most excruciatingly destructive experience in your life and ministry. Begin today to build your personal strategy for experiencing a lifetime of sexual purity as you battle great temptations along the way. At the end of your life you may be able to say with Paul, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Tim, 4:7).

READING LIST

Henry, Carl, F. H. Christian Personal Ethics
1957 Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Pub. Co.

McQuilkin, Robertson An Introduction to Biblical Ethics
1989 Wheaton: Tyndale House

Murphy, Ed The Handbook for Spiritual Warfare
1992 Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers

Adapted from the InterVarsity Link Handbook, 1999.