Relationships With International Students
Some Practical Ideasby Terrell Smith
The student sitting next to you in class may be a future world leader. Imagine it! Think of the hundreds of students you walk by daily to and from class, at work, as you sit drinking coffee.
The most natural thing in the world is to intentionally befriend an international student. (We do suggest that men meet men and women meet women to avoid cultural misunderstandings that can occur in relationships.)
- Read something about his or her country. Avoid 'dumb' questions by being up-to-date through newspapers, news magazines, and world news on the radio.
- Check out Operation World by Patrick Johnstone to learn more about where your friend is from.
- Potluck parties are always fun. Each person can bring a favorite traditional dish to share. If you have an affinity with a particular country or language, you may want to have a theme party and play music in a native language. Board games or card games are good ice breakers. Ask each person to teach their favorite.
Once you have built a trusting relationship with your international friend, you can bring up religious or spiritual beliefs.
- Pray regularly for your new friend.
- Write your name, address and telephone number down so that he or she can contact you again.
- Invite them over to your place. A casual, informal visit or a meal together is better than a formal meeting with strange customs. Show genuine interest. Do not patronize. This means doing things together, not just doing things for your international friend.
- Keep praying! Pray for the international student regularly, in your devotions, family prayers and at church.
- Be natural. Do ‘normal’ things and invite the international student to join you. Include him or her in your daily life; shopping, doing laundry, studying, etc. For example, when you go shopping together, you could point out inexpensive stores. Study together. Read their homework through and help them with the language.
- Get to know their friends.
- Share pictures of your families. Invite them home to meet your family.
- Share food experiences. Offer a cup of tea or coffee when he or she visits you. You may need to offer something more than once (in some cultures refusing several times at first is polite). Invite them to supper or allow the international student to cook one of his or her national dishes for you. Bake cookies, or cook something unusual together.
- Sometimes a variety of activities can stimulate good conversation on what is wrong with the world, what is wrong with the hearts of humanity and how faith changes things. Talk together about faith.
- Sometimes attending a worship service together will be appropriate so your international friend learns what Christians do when they come together. You might also attend a Bible study together.
Help your friends find housing. Help them move. Drive them to interesting places in the city. Celebrate holidays, yours and theirs. Learn folk songs together. Bring them soup when they’re ill. Surprise them with a birthday party. Write to their family. Go for a walk or hike. Ride bicycles or swim. Go snow or water skiing. Play sports together. Go camping. Fly a kite. Build a snowman. Go sledding. Share hobbies. Go on a trip together. Go to a play or movie and discuss it. See an art show or concert. Watch and discuss the news. Read and discuss books.
Unless otherwise noted, all materials on the urbana.org web site are Copyright InterVarsity Christian Fellowship / USA. All rights reserved.
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