Responses to Differences
When confronted with the "inevitable" thoughts and feelings that stem from differences, here are the ways we cope:
The avoidance or "sidestep" response
Avoidance of all situations and people of difference whenever possible. A strong desire not to have to deal with differences because of the anxiety or discomfort or fear it produces.
The indifferent or "closed eyes" response
No attempt to understand and/or deal with differences. Attempt to live life as normal. An unwillingness to accept that differences are important and/or even exist.
The withdrawal or "flight" response
"Freezing" with feelings of fearfulness, inadequacy, hopelessness, etc. Movement away from/avoidance of that which is different due to being overwhelmed.
– inward flight: depression and self-absorption
– outward flight: leave situation (and people) of difference altogether or create "safe" group within it
The rejection or "right" response
Accentuated irritation, rationalization, unwillingness to change and a clinging to one's own thoughts and ways. Rejection of other's different thoughts and ways repulsion/disgust, bitterness/anger, criticism/fault-finding, complaining, patronizing, stereotyping, derogatory remarks/joking name-calling, trying to change that which is different. Believing that your own thoughts, feelings, and your own way is better and/or right.
The abandonment or "going native" response
Because of a strong desire for security and/or belonging, a person abandons one's own thoughts and ways, blindly accepting and indiscriminately adopting different thoughts and ways.
The identification or "incarnational" response
In the pattern of Jesus, relinquishing one's own thoughts, ways and rights without abandoning Biblical principles or absolutes. Discriminate and purposeful adoption of other's different thoughts and ways. Participation/interaction with the other's different thoughts and ways. Learning through observation, listening, inquiring, etc. Acting in order to guild trust, acceptance, respect and to offer loving/selfless service and ministry.
Adapted from the InterVarsity LINK Handbook, 1999.
Unless otherwise noted, all materials on the urbana.org web site are Copyright InterVarsity Christian Fellowship / USA. All rights reserved.
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