Ephesians Devotionals
Bob Morris
How to Live Together Part II (Ephesians 4:29-30)
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their need, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
As with many aspects of living Christianly, there are two standards by which to measure our actions: Does it serve the best interests of others? Is it keeping in step with the Holy Spirit? Our talk has the potential for tremendous good and terrible evil. Proverbs 12:18 reminds us that
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
James tells us that “those who are never at fault in what they say are perfect, able to keep the whole body in check” (James 3: 2)
…the tongue is a small part of the body but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest fire is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell (James 3: 5-6)
The adjective “unwholesome” that describes prohibited talk refers elsewhere to decayed trees, rotten fruit and rotten fish. Paul is not talking here so much of truth and error as of harm, vulgarity, abuse or slander – anything that hurts the hearers. And this is his point: all our speech is measured by its effect on our hearers - is it helpful to them? Does it build them up? Is it appropriate to their need of the moment? Is it to their benefit (or, better, does it impart grace to those who hear)?
Many years ago, a conference speaker called Wing Commander Gregson used to tell people to test their speech with 4 questions: Is it true, is it honest, is it necessary, is it helpful? The effect on our listeners is the ultimate test of the wholesomeness of our talk.
The second standard is, does it grieve the Holy Spirit of God? In Eph. 1:13 we were told that when we believed, the Holy Spirit was the seal guaranteeing our inheritance. In chapter 4:3 we learned that the Holy Spirit is the agent of unity in the body of Christ. Any talk that threatens unity or corrodes faith (3:16) will grieve the Holy Spirit. Your fellow believer may choose to ignore a hurtful comment, or forgive an unhelpful word spoken in haste, but we must still deal with the Holy Spirit’s promptings in our hearts. His seal is for the day of redemption, the day when all of us will be judged for “every empty word spoken” (Matthew 12: 17). How we talk to each other is a major issue in our Christian walk. Peter told Jesus he had the words of eternal life. We can as well, when we speak for the benefit of others.
Holy Spirit, you who guide us into all truth and testify of Jesus, grant us speech seasoned with salt and love for our hearers, so that we can administer God’s grace through our words.
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