Ephesians Devotionals
Bob Morris
Word to the Wives (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33b)
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything…and the wife must respect her husband.
A Specific Word to the Wives
Why should wives be centred out for submission, when all of us are to submit to others (verse 21)? In one sense it is equally biblical to tell husbands to submit to their wives; in fact, that is the effect of what Paul says in the next section about husbands loving their wives and giving themselves up for her. At the same time, Paul recognizes that there is a pattern to submission; Christian society has distinctive relationships which are to reflect the relationship of Christ to the church.
It may well be that Paul’s specific words of advice to husbands and wives in these passages reflect particular challenges men and women have in relating to the opposite sex. One of the temptations wives face is to manipulate their husbands, using the vast array of feminine wiles available to them. In some ways men can be naive, particularly in the area of relationships. Virtually every sitcom on TV portrays men as insensitive, blundering morons, who can easily be wrapped around a woman’s little finger. For this reason, women have to respect their husbands for what they do have to offer and not despise them for their vulnerabilities.
But more is expected than just respect. Paul uses the parallel of Christ and the church to explain the relationship of husband and wife. Note, before we go any further, that the teaching of this passage relates to husbands and wives, not men and women in general. The Bible nowhere commands all women to submit to all men. Further point: words like hierarchy, submit, and authority are all tainted in their common usage by the abuses we have seen. We have to try and determine their Biblical meaning. The order in relationships which Paul addresses here is creational rather than patriarchal (see 1 Cor. 11: 3, 8-12). Each member of the household has responsibilities which are mirrored by others’ and depend on them.
Specifically, a wife’s responsibility to submit to her husband is predicated on the assumption that the husband will love his wife and give himself up for her. As one woman said to me, “Now that is the kind of man I want to submit to. It is the only way he can fulfill his role in the marriage”.
Submission here has no overtones of inferiority, subjugation, or tyranny; it is a voluntary act which recognizes the corresponding responsibility of the husband to care for her. Women together with men are created to be like God (4:24). The appropriate response when either husband or wife fails to live up to their marital responsibility is a discussion for another context.
The motivation for wives to submit to their husbands is “as to the Lord” (rather than “as you do to the Lord” of the TNIV). That is, out of reverence for Christ, wives acknowledge their role in marriage and in so doing, do it for Christ’s sake and thus honour him.
The husband is described as the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church. Paul used the same word “head” in Eph. 1:22 and 4:15 to describe Christ’s headship. Clearly he is the Church’s leader and ruler. Different personalities and different cultural contexts mean that the specific relative roles of husbands and wives in a marriage relationship will show a wide variety of realities, but in every case, the responsibility of the husband is to be acknowledged, and wives are to submit to it.
Lord Jesus, help us to understand our roles in marriage in ways that honour you and reflect the church’s relationship to you in your self-sacrificing love for us.
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