KingdomCome
Don Follis
The joyous, stressful season is upon us
So lighten up, folks…
email Don at editor@urbana.org
With Thanksgiving and Christmas upon us, we enter the most stressful season of the year. You thought I was going to say we are entering the most joyous time, and that’s true, or at least it should be. And I’m convinced it can be. But you’ll have to work at it.
During these final weeks of the year many people are unbelievably stressed. Expectations are high, and lots of people wear their emotions on their sleeves. Take a big breath, friends. I want to give you a few handles that will help bring joy to your holiday season:
1. Your feelings of stress are normal. Believe me, everybody has them. Recognize what state you're in, and don’t deny that this season of high expectations is hard for you. You won’t make friends by acting stoically and saying, “Nothing is wrong. I’m happy and joyful. Just leave me alone. I’m trying to shop.” Frankly, it’s much better to be honest and say something like, “I’m sorry. I am so bummed. This is a tough time of the year for me. I really want to celebrate the birth of Christ, but the stresses of my family really put me on edge.”
2. Take care of the obvious. Eat well; get plenty of rest; drink lots of water. And yes, determine to spend some time reading the Bible. Here’s something I want you to try. Go to a quiet place and read the first two chapters of Luke’s gospel out loud. Read slowly and try putting some passion in your words. I think you’ll be surprised at how you feel the Lord’s presence if you do this.
Here’s another idea. Every holiday season I read a great little short story called “The Story of the Other Wise Man” by Henry van Dyke. It’s a story about a fourth wise man who failed to meet up with the other three wise men. In this truly inspiring story, you’ll discover how the other wise man finally found the Lord. You’ll find it at most bookstores.
3. Lower your expectations. If you are as I am, you tend to go into Thanksgiving and Christmas with all kinds of overrated, silly expectations. I remember sitting down at the Thanksgiving table a couple of years ago thinking I would try and resolve some old hurts with a family member. What better place to see God’s hand of forgiveness at work, I thought. I barely got passed the first sentence when someone said, “We’re not going there. Period.” Here’s a better, definitely safer idea. How about asking, say, your father, “Hey Dad, tell us one of your favorite memories from Christmas.” I did this once and a wonderfully positive discussion ensued.
4. Keep your eyes open. When you’re stressed, you need to stay open to the universe around you. Go for a walk. Watch the birds. Listen to the sounds of nature. Don’t close up and obsess about your own stress. Instead, uncross your arms. Smile. Sing. Take in the light.
5. Get some support. Don’t hide. Do you need to talk with a pastor or a counselor? Lots of people do during the holiday season. If you can get some help, by all means do. My goodness, friends, there’s no shame in that.
In an incredibly candid moment, one pastor told me he struggles with depression, especially during the winter. “The holidays are the worst time for me,” he said. “I’m usually very busy, and yet I often feel very dark inside. It’s my personal struggle, and believe me, it’s a struggle. I normally can’t wait for the holidays to pass.” He’s a good guy, and a loving pastor. He sees a counselor, takes an anti-depressant and hangs in there. He’s far from perfect, but to tell you the truth, I really admire him for getting himself some help.
6. Lighten up. If you don’t have it together during the holidays, can you really expect everyone else to? Does it really matter that the gifts are wrapped perfectly? Does everyone have to attire themselves in the holiday clothes of your choosing? Of course not. Let me put it simply. During the holidays when people are stressed out of their minds, choose your battles carefully. The fewer battles you can fight during the holidays, the better. Like I said, lighten up.
7. Advent, the four Sundays preceding Christmas, means waiting. So spend some time waiting. During Advent we long and wait for the coming of the Messiah. Stressful times are times when active, patient waiting can be practiced. Most human experience can be summarized with the words waiting and hoping. The prophet Isaiah said that those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.
As we wait patiently for the coming Messiah, may the Holy Spirit come and refresh us with a fresh touch of Grace. We wait patiently for the Messiah. We are ready to run and soar. So come Lord Jesus. Fill this stressful season with the joy and peace of the baby born in Bethlehem.
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