Anyway, one evening at a church service someone came and told us about Urbana and the whole mission of it. Then another speaker told of his experience of mission work and how he got started. Well, when we were praying to discern if God has truly called us to this I just kept thinking "yes", and I didn't want it to be my own mind telling me but I knew that it wasn't because it wasn't in "my so-called" plan of music and such.

Anyway, after the service I walked out amazed of the calling I seemed to feel God was telling me. My cousin came up to me and asked me right then what I was thinking. I asked her why and she just wanted me to tell her. So, as scared as I was to say, I told her that I felt I really needed to go somewhere for missions. She immediately said that she needed to tell me something. I asked what about and she said that when she was praying for herself it was no mistake that God had said that she wasn't but that I was. Even that I was supposed to be at Urbana. I felt that this was God confirming my call that I thought. Even when I told her that when the speaker said that some of us may stay here in the city we are in or may not be here next year, I could only think for some reason that I would not be here next year. My cousin said that she also knew for some reason I wasn't going to be here.

So, entirely overwhelmed by this, I didn't want it to be a "hype" thing for me and that I was just on maybe a "spiritual-high" and that this was truly a calling from God. So I wanted patience and prayer that this was really from God. I was scared to think that I would maybe have to tell people I knew that I would be returning to college next fall, and that everything has changed for me. I am just wondering if you know that this does seem like an incredibly obvious thing from God, or I am just being to hypersensitive. I don't doubt that God has shown me something, but I just don't want to act irrationally to something that otherwise might not be. I know this is long, and maybe confusting, but I pray that you know what, and where I may be coming from. Am I a missionary?