Dear April:

Thanks for your very practical question. I should really ask my wife to answer it, but she is several thousand miles away at this moment!

As with most questions of this kind, one has to preface the answer with the caveat, "It all depends." There are many variables:

• Your sense of call.
• Your energy level.
• Your gifts.
• Your husband´s attitude.
• Your context (can you get inexpensive help you can trust).
• What your employment is and what you consider to be "ministry."

In some cross-cultural contexts, particularly in a former era, missionary wives focused on their "ministry" and pretty well turned over the raising of their children to servants (when they were pre-school) and sent them to boarding school. One mission that I know still requires that parents send their children from the age of six to a boarding school that happens to be in another country, because both parents are expected to be undistracted and involved in the ministry.

Other missionary mothers feel strongly that their ministry is their children, especially when they are young. I know one family with five children whose mother (assisted by the father for a few hours) home school all their kids. Their house looks like a school room papered with maps.

Other mothers concentrate on their kids when they are preschool and don´t expect to be able to do much in the way of ministry (especially, if like you, they also are employed) until their children are in school and they are freer.

Then there are the "super moms" who seem to be able to do it all and come up smiling.

I think one has to carefully think through one´s priorities as an individual and a couple, and be realistic with what one can accomplish. We missionaries are usually highly motivated, but especially if we come from the high powered American work pattern we will short our sleep, not take days off or vacations, slight our kids, and pretty well run ourselves down. I don´t think this honors the Lord who calls us to learn from him and reminds us that his yoke is easy and his burden is light (Mt 11:28).

May you find his balance and will for you in this moment of your life and find that you are living it with joy.

In His Grace,
Jack