I feel that there are two dimensions to the matter of “God’s plan” for one’s life. 1) In general: As you mention below, God does want us to follow Him, which includes obeying His commandments: loving Him with all our hearts, mind, and strength, and loving our neighbor as ourselves (as you note in your question). As God’s people do this, they develop a community which illustrates God’s character to the world about them and bring joy to the Lord.

2) Specifically: However, I feel that God also has a personal interest in individuals and wants to lead them in the important decisions of their lives, including their choice of a spouse, their employment, their use of their resources, etc.

As we grow in our knowledge of God, He guides us, if we are willing to follow. This guidance may come in many ways: through reading Scripture, insights that come to us as we pray, the counsel of wise and mature Christians, personal interests and abilities, etc.

In John 10, Jesus presents Himself as the Good Shepherd who goes before His sheep. This figure gives me the idea that He will lead those who follow Him.

In Ephesians 2:10, Paul reminds us that we are “God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” This gives me the idea that He cares about our individual lives and created us to carry out His plan for us. I believe that the aspects we didn’t choose, namely our parents, our race, our nationality, our natural talents, etc., all combine to be God’s preparation for what He wants us to accomplish as we follow Him and depend on His enabling.

Before we got married, my wife and I prayed much about His will for us. We feel He led us to get married and to dedicate ourselves to missionary service. This conviction has taken us through the normal stresses and strains we all experience in life.

I trust that these thoughts will be helpful to you. If not, ask a more specific question. I would also encourage you to read through the questions and answers under the "guidance" section of the filed "Ask Jack" materials.