I don’t feel you are living too much in the future; I think you are being realistic, and honest with both God and yourself. In fact, I get a red flag when I hear your friend criticizing you for the questions you are asking. What is his call? (A call to missions is not the only call! Every young Christian should have a call or deep desire to serve the Lord in one way or another.) Ask him what his call is. This might help to clarify things for the both of you!

Since this young man is interested in you, and you begin “dating,” as you surmise, sooner or later you will very possibly fall in love with him. If your call persists, he may even consider missions, but not for a personal call, but because he can’t stand the thought of losing you; or he will try to dissuade you from following your call, using arguments such as the great need at home, etc.

Perhaps there is a middle way between refusing to go with him (or anyone else) and move into a growing relationship with him. This might be a careful discussion of your goals and establishing limitations on your friendship. - I would avoid seeing him too often and alone. Do you have a group of mutual friends you can spend time with? - I would certainly avoid any physical contact, concentrating rather on communicating your plans for your future ministry, praying together for this, and doing research on the place you plan to work. I would encourage you to see him in the context of ministry – sharing the Gospel together, visiting the poor, helping with ministries at your church. - One of the tasks you undoubtedly will be working on is raising up a support base, both financially and spiritually. This may involve you talking about your anticipated ministry, the place you will be working, how you received your call, sharing your need for people to stand with you. - He may either tire of this limited relationship, or truly get interested in serving overseas himself. - The Lord might also bring another man into your life who shares your vision.

The above is risky, of course. You will have to pray consistently and continually bring the whole matter before the Lord or you may find your missionary call moving off your screen.

I would encourage you to seek out an older, wise, and spiritually sensitive Christian woman with whom you can share your situation and who would be willing to pray with and for you.

This is a crucial time as you prepare for missionary service. May the Lord guide you every step. Bring all your choices before Him.