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Stepping into Margins
7/28/09
The men on our team are a gift from God in their character, dedication, and love for us women and the people of Kolkata.
They stood behind us on trains and walked next to us on streets. They fought to balance a role as protector with respect for our ability to protect ourselves. They have prayed for us.
When I visited friends in a Red Light District near my placement, the organization’s owner walked between me and the men who had come to buy services, a high wall against the tide.
Here are some things I’ve learned since then:
- Heaven is not gendered, but we now inhabit earthly bodies that inspire us to behave in different ways and consider different ways of addressing problems.
- If you don’t say when something is bothering you and what someone could do to help, they possibly won’t know.
- Gender injustice is everybody’s problem, not just women’s
- We all deserve the respect of being held to a high standard.
- It’s good to get along well, but the capacity to communicate makes relationships successful
More than anything else, the problems for women in Kolkata have increased my understanding of what it means to be marginalized. When any group is oppressed, everyone is worse off. In Kolkata, if a stranger turns his body away from me as he passes, without eye contact and holds his briefcase in front of him, I think, “Wow - what a respectful man!”
I am afraid and the men feel shame. It has been really hard for me to find a balance between openness and healthy defensiveness.
I have realized everybody’s complicity is required for groups to be left out on the edges. The women don’t rise up; the good men don’t speak out; the bad men commit their crimes in secret.
Since men seemed to have more power and options, as a woman it felt good when they made space for me. It took special effort because there wasn’t anyone to hold them accountable.
As Americans, maybe we are in a similar situation – many peoples’ lives are affected by what we do, but it is our choice to recognize them and enter their situation. Because of the uneven power dynamic, it is possible that a message of dissatisfaction wouldn’t even reach us, which means that it’s our responsibility to find out what’s going on and take special steps to respond.
It seems to me that is part of what Jesus did when he came to earth – to live with people as a representative of God. Not only did God become human, but this human incarnation of divinity hung out with the most marginalized people: widows (destitute and abandoned), tax collectors (cultural traitors), prostitutes and adulterers (morally objectionable), foreigners (supposed outsiders in God’s relationship with the world).
If it is true that Americans occupy the top of the hierarchy in economic power and cultural influence, then is it our responsibility to seek out those distant voices, to ask how we can recognize the value of their lives and experience?
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