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Global Urban Trek 2006
Until New Stories stretch ...June 26
“You said, ask and I’ll give the nations to you, oh Lord, that’s the cry of our hearts. Distant shores and the islands will see Your light, as it rises on us.”
It seems so long ago when my Filipina friends and I in San Diego, California sat in my living room singing this worship song with the Philippines on our hearts. As I sat there, allowing God’s promises to move me to tears, I never would have imagined that four months later I would be singing the same song but instead, I’d be in my homeland.
Mabuhay mga kapatid sa America! (Hello my brothers and sisters in America!) My name is Bien-Elize Roque and I am blessed to be the journal writer for the Global Trek Manila B during this summer. I am a Filipina American from the Bay Area in California, attending University of California, San Diego. I have been to the Philippines before with my parents, but no trip to the Philippines could have prepared me for this specific trek. Today is our last full day of orientation and this first week has been completely challenging, amazing, and new.
As the plane landed in Manila, I took a deep breath as I saw the stretches of compacted land and squatter house built upon squatter house. Coming to the Philippines is always a contradiction in speech, mind, and action; I breathed in this thought as I stepped into the warm airport – there was no air conditioning already. I watched the workers look at us, they wondered where we were from, wondered why Filipinas were with all the Americans. I took every stare and held it close; waiting to exhale as we passed customs and stepped into the heat that is Manila.
From there we took a 45 minute bus ride to the Tip Top Guesthouse in Quezon City. It was interesting as the Pilipino Americans and I sat scattered throughout the bus while people observed what I am to call my homeland. It was as if we were at a zoo, but the catch was, some of the animals were inside the bus with the tourists. I tried my best to be a good zoo mate, but the uncomfortability rose so high that I could no longer be a pseudo tour guide, so I sat the rest of the way silent. 45 minutes later through the managed chaos of traffic, jeepneys, and tricycles, we finally arrived.
The Tip Top Guesthouse is nothing short of a mansion and honestly, a blessing. It reminds me of my father’s home here in Quezon City so it’s a nice home away from home. When we arrived, orientation officially started. Orientation has included time spent with our teams (other Asian treks were here also), lecturers and workshops with people from the Pilipino community, a lot of wonderful Pilipino fruits and food, and God’s magnificent ways.
One of the lecturers, Dr. Melba reminded us to identify with the new communities we will be working with, but to never lose our identity in the process. This entails that first we must love who we are in order to properly love others. What a process, or shall I say a discombobulated-spiral-maze-conundrum that God has chosen for me to move through. With only four shirts in my suitcase, having to use a bucket to flush the toilet, and taking cold showers every night, I have realized that I might be more American that I want to be. Through the mere living conditions that are already a privilege compared to where we will be going, I have acknowledged and wrestled with the reality of my American self. As this idea took the form of questions, my identity as a Pilipina was also going through a transformation. Being one of only 10 Pilipinos on this trek, the brown in me has seemed to be glowing through more than my skin.
Besides the typical 2nd generation questions of where is home and where do I belong, there is the question of what does it mean to be Pilipina in the Philippines, with foreigners hoping to help your own people? How do I negotiate the fact that many of these foreigners are part of a system that has colonized, exploited, and discriminated against your own both here in the Philippines and in America? These questions live as a constant in my mind and I wanted to leave it all behind, but just like God, He had me face it, fight it, and begin to heal from it.
Through many different activities and conversations I’ve had while being here, God has really allowed me to feel and cry tears for my ancestors. He has given me the freedom to feel all the anger, stories, hurts, and hopes that the soil of my motherland holds and lift it up to God. I lamented for my people. I cried tears for those who can not, mourned for those forgotten, and through this found peace and hope in Christ’s liberation and promise of justice. He also restored faith in humanity and affirmed the power of kapwa, the core value that we are fellow human beings… and it’s only been one week!
We all have fears. Fears of the insects, fears of language barriers, of missing home, but God has intimately met each one of these fears with the affirmation that we are here to do His work. With this truth, we go forth to reclaim the nations, these islands. Tomorrow we’ll be going to our sites, and meeting with our host families so I ask you on behalf of my team to keep us in your prayers. Pray for our health, spiritual well being, and for growth. Maraming salamat po, (thank you very much), and until new stories stretch from my heart to yours … peace ..
God bless,
`bien-elize rOque
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